Today I went into work late because 1) I felt like it and 2) I was waiting for a parcel to be delivered. I was looking forward to this because it gave me the chance to abuse a stranger right on my own doorstep. This didn't go to plan.
I heard the doorbell so I bounded to the door only to see some fat, scruffy courier woman had just left my box on the drive and was just getting in her van. I was not at all pleased because I lost the chance of abusing a stranger. I ran to the bottom of the drive shouting abuse at the fat cow. I got about half way through a sentence I found myself being abused which definitely called for further relentless abuse through the window. The bitch then slapped me across the face!. Because this had never happened before I forgot what I was going to say and could only manage slander. She then drove off.
The slap had made a mark on my face. I went to cover the mark up but I then had an idea. Anybody who asked me about it could be abused. I punched myself in the face a few times to make it worse.
As I got to the office and abused the woman in reception as usual she asked if I had walked into a door or something. I grunted yes to her and she went to laugh which called for a massive amount of abuse delivered instantly. Nosey bitch.
Through out the day the same method worked many of times. There was one time though where a person asked whether someone had hit me. I abused them sharply because I felt like it and I saw through their dip-shit attemp to wind me up by pretending to be concerned.
Alternative Styles |
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