ABUSE REPORT

I woke up thinking it to be a normal day. I will start abusing people shortly, then get in a worse mood and go on to abuse people more intensely because I'm pissed off. Instead as I went to abuse my husband for not getting me what I wanted for Christmas whatever number of years ago - I realised that I had lost my voice with a bad throat. This really pissed me off meaning that I had to abuse my husband through a series of blows to the head to get my orders across.

Still not being able to abuse anyone I stomped into work where I printed out some abusive phrases on A3 paper like "screw you" and "i'm too busy for a loser like you". Through the day one or two people came to my office where I would present them with paper based abuse with a complimentary middle finger rather than the usual loud domineering voice straight down the ear. I did use more snorts in people's faces though.

This went fine up until I was dumping my rubbish on someone else's desk when I heard the remark about the broomstick again - only this time I heard who it was - the twat with the stupid eyebrows!. I exploded with a deluge abuse only for it to be wasted having no voice. I gave him an extra long suck of the teeth, my most abusive sign and stuck my fingers up at him. I will make him suffer.

On the way home I got stuck behind some idiot on a bike. As I couldn't abuse him I started revving my engine and using my horn to get him to move. He turned round and called me crazy! I wanted to kill the bastard I AM NOT CRAZY! I decided to follow him for a while and waited until a very sharp bend to the right when I then sharply nudged into the left so he had no where to go. I felt very satisfied as the tosser disappeared off down a very steep embankment.

Abuse Report Episode 18

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