Set in the very near future, rampant no consequence female on female sexuality has led to the creation of a movement that aims to rid the globe of anyone other than lesbians!
It has advanced to the stage where lesbians (also known as The Lemons) are on the verge of achieving a stronghold in several countries through secretive programs and missions.
The movement originated since being fully accepted in our present day (and it is rather cool it should be added), fully endorsed by the likes of TV programmes, music videos and sports, lesbians are no longer the rugby playing, dungaree wearing, short-haired tattoo-touting fatties we used to see. Even they believed that style was horrid and unattractive but it was necessary in times of struggle and those women were used for heavy assaults. Now they all like pretty much as pictured below.
Led by the mysterious Pussy Strokes, she directs The Entire Lesbos with her deputy Fiona Poker along with many others from their fabled central base The Lemagon where their top-secret plans and technologies are researched. They have developed a heinous weapon that can turn almost any woman into a lesbian. This technology is not perfect but they work on it constantly.
Non-lesbians have a means of defence against these creatures called a Fanny Clamp though they are reticent to share the exact design.
Therefore, a 'report' into this threat, is an investigation to expose these malevolent operations of The Entire Lesbos. A small group of very suspicious yet brave men have formed a small resistance movement and release publications to the rest of the population as warnings. They operate under constant fear of their impending doom their poor nerves are frayed (which affects their writing skills manifesting in bad English at times) to help mankind. In a world where you cannot be certain who the villains are because everyone is so pretty.
So here they are! Spoof, utterly ridiculous, certainly not politically correct and sometimes graphic hailing from the mind of a horny 14-year-old who watched too much X-Files. Now, after some 20 years it is the return of:
Actually, these things started way back in 1995 but when you work in a dead end public service job as an adult your mind wanders back to better times. And to those people who are offended then - get real! Anyone reading the first two paragraphs (or even this intro) can tell its just an elaborate joke.
They are presented here in PDF format.
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Lesbionic Winter Sports Resorts We now know that Winter Sports are now just another weapon and have discovered these establishments are nothing more than death traps designed to eliminate as many men and straight women as possible. So, either take those ice cubes off your nipples or put them in your G+T because it's now time for Lesbionic Winter Sports Resorts! |
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Lesbionic Estate Agencies and Agents You thought you home was safe? Well now there are movements afoot to ensure Lemons are comfortable and rich either in their sleazy homes or yours! So, forget about the time you banged one out on the driveway when you locked yourself out the house because it's now time for Lesbionic Estate Agents! |
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Coming soon... |
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In this report we see what happens when innocent entertainment is perverted for evil plans. So either swallow that chocolate or put it back in the box because its now time for Lesbionic Circuses! |
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Here we see how the retail experience has been perverted. So either make yourself look priceless in your wife’s stilettos and panties or wait until she visits her mother again because its now time to expose Lesbionic Retail! |
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Here we expose some of the links that allow them to have such a major influence in the country. So either down that pint of vodka or go buy your own because its now time for Lesbionic Job Centres Plus! |
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Lesbionic Vehicles Part 1: Cars Now we see what goes on behind the wheel of a Lemon. So either pull over or stop pulling yourself off because it's now time for Lesbionic Vehicles! |
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Lesbionic Door to Door Sales People Perhaps the most critical of articles in this series, we reveal how integrated just a few of their operations are. Accordingly, enjoy this in-depth reportage to some of the dangers when in your own home! So either put down those binoculars or simply knock on the neighbours door, ask her name and her favourite pudding because it's now time for...Lesbionic Door To Door Salespeople! |
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See what happens when two worlds collide! When Barbara was busy banning things she was attacked! So either meet the rent boy at the hotel room or go home for your wife's birthday because its now time for the finale of the series with Lesbionic Tree Surgeons! |
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