This a key time of the academic year. It is the time in which I can show my prowess to other students and more importantly the staff. An important part of this is the need to create a dissertation. Obviously I will explain for you, my reader. A dissertation is a very significant piece of work; a formal piece of writing where I explain why I deserve a degree.
As a model student I have produced a model dissertation which from all signs will be the best in the cohort (that means class). I have worked very hard. So hard in fact it took almost two entire weeks of solid work to complete! It is now finally being submitted.
Naturally the topic of my dissertation is Networking as I am beyond virtually all students with my capabilities there - with the purpose: to highlight the sheer incompetence of the IT staff at Jason Mega College, an establishment in which I now have significant authority after completing just 2 part time courses displaying my abilities.
I arrived at the faculty office to hand in my work. My gentle friend Thom was just about to hand his over. I asked for a preview which he strangely denied me. I was not offended as I know he can be very protective of his work. I handed my piece in and obtained a satisfying receipt of hand in. Feeling very relieved that this insane workload was now over I suggested he mount an impromptu celebration and proposed a quick visit to the drinking establishment with Thom to mark us achieving this milestone.
The rest of my fellow class mates followed us (of course) although obviously there is nothing more in the way of help they can try and get from me since the work is now in the hands of the academics - unfortunately for them.
To round things off nicely, some of the lecturers from our department came in shortly afterwards which we have socialised with often; though I not as much. After some general greetings and salutations they enquired generally about our dissertations. I thought I would make them aware of the stunning piece of work that would soon come through their offices. I described, in great detail how the 40 pages (exactly) will surely be one of the best argumentative and eloquent writes they will read. This is a family trait. It clearly impressed them by the stunned and somewhat overwhelmed expression on their faces and they quickly finished their drinks and left! I actually impressed them out of the drinking establishment! They probably went to read it there and then!
My gentle friend Thom had been working all night on his piece and commented on being tired and very hungry. The look on his face told me and needed something inside him. Whilst I generally detest food in this location, to be in Thom’s company is very pleasing even if his conversations are simple and repetitive but I also felt the need to eat. We ordered and sat together under the window facing each other ajar from our class associates who were drinking.
Later we spent some more time with them since they also were celebrating their temporary relief from the work, though it was more likely this binge was to sooth and forget the likelihood that they will fail unlike I - who can now relax, safe in the knowledge that I will defeat them in marks as and alcohol.
At some point they crowded around on one of the silly game machines that are in the place and were trying to get a high score, a high score by their standards that is. I was somewhat pushed into giving help, which obviously would have been necessary anyway as it could not have been done without my superior knowledge.
I was forced to engage this machine in a test of whit. Clearly the programmer was not very intelligent as they had programmed incorrect answers to several questions which I know to be true; the uneducated swine. Obviously my friends believed me as they are well aware of my abilities and I felt no way embarrassed.
I arrived home to be presently surprised by my mother, the writer, preparing as she described "a special well done meal". I admit I became cynical. Her performance of late (which you will have read about) has been inconsistent and sub par. I was expecting this meal placed before me to be a mockery of her past triumphs. Before I had even cut into it I had already nicknamed this 'Mockery Pie'. Thankfully all this melted away as I took the first bite.
This pie was a cunning stunt. Her use of apple took away the initial edge off the taste of mince meat and filling to give a surprising extra taste which made my palette tingle so. The combination of this fruit and pastry was pure genius! All this was furthered with fantastic carrots, fuller peas and a generous amount of creamy mash potato with a delightful and relaxing yellow tone. This was a sublime dish! Where did she get this idea?
My mother, the writer, was clearly at her peak. I am perplexed as to why her behaviour and personality changes so quickly and dramatically. I enquired as to the reason for her high spirits and she informed me of the near completion of a new project she had been working on involving the history of a nearby town which will shortly be printed - and this will be in the thousands initially!
Alternative Styles |
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